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Volume 2: A Life Astounded

These are the Volume 2: A Life Astounded entries, biatch.

Super Secret Agent Phone

Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009

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I volunteer as a tutor at 826 Chicago. It is a pretty wild gig with kids running all over the place all ready to learn whatever I can teach them. The gig is ostensibly a creative writing program, but we work on homework and art and all manner of cool stuff. Lex goes (more than [...]

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Will The Wrestler Lead to Robocop?

Monday, January 5th, 2009

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Lex, Edward and I saw Darren Aronofsky’s “The Wrestler” a few days ago and were each of us stunned by the piece. I could be called an Aronofsky detractor in any other circumstance, his earlier work like fingernails on the chalkboard of my brightest hopes. The Wrestler, however, delivers. It delivers a lot more than [...]

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I’m Captain Kirk

Thursday, November 20th, 2008

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Blue Team Wins

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

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A Real Conversation for Your Ass

Tuesday, October 14th, 2008

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During lunch conversation yesterday I told CLAW about an interesting situation that occurred a few days back while Lex and I were tearing the shit out of the Locust horde in the interest of preparation for GOW2. Somewhere between popping heads and blender-busting boomers we got to talking about Duke Nukem 3D. For a few [...]

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You will see JCVD. You will.

Monday, October 13th, 2008

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  ‘JCVD’ Theatrical Trailer @ Yahoo! Video One of my favorite films when I was an impressionable young squirt was Bloodsport. Cyborg and Universal Soldier (Dolph Lundgren!) were not far behind. A few years into puberty and I realized that Jean-Claude Van Damme couldn’t act to save his own life and  movies like Timecop and [...]

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A Rude Awakenning

Friday, October 10th, 2008

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I stopped watching Transformers the day after my mom took me to see Transformers: The Movie in 1986. I was traumatized in what I think is a very unnatural way by the death of Optimus Prime. If only I had known he would be back. Back and ready to tear it up.  [by "it" I [...]

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Massage Him!

Monday, September 22nd, 2008

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This is what has been happening in Outworld. This kind of shit. Which is exactly why they are sending Batman in to set the place straight.  The Batman doesn’t do scented oil.

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YOU MUST TRY THEM

Thursday, September 11th, 2008

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I remember this one time I went into the woods near my house with this guy I used to hang out with in high school to shoot at soda cans with his air rifle, only he didn’t want to shoot soda cans at all and ended up shooting the living shit out of a squirrel [...]

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I’ve Worked There.

Monday, September 8th, 2008

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The jokes in the above video are funny but are not always exaggerations. I have worked in development positions in which every single one of those statements are true. I am proud to be in a position now in which my boss sent me that video, cringing at first and then asking me if he [...]

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His Name is Bruce

Thursday, September 4th, 2008

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What was the last Bruce Campbell movie you saw? Was it the one where they were trapped in a snowed in airport and one of them was an alien? Was it the one where he may or may not be Elvis and fights a zombie pharaoh? Maybe it was one of his many cameos? The [...]

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Is it White Boy Day?

Thursday, September 4th, 2008

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Kwame Kilpatrick, the hip hop mayor of Detroit, has pled guilty to a pair of felony obstruction charges today, and will be stepping down from the big pimpin’ krunk party kingship office of the mayor and into a Wayne County jail. He’s going to the slammer for 120 days and will owe the city one million [...]

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Wet Pets

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008

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Whether you know this or not, I am fairly certain you are going to click the play button on the above video and be forever changed. If not forever changed, then at least reasonably annoyed when, three hours from now, you are singing the Wet Pets theme song. Blame me. Well, blame College Humor first, [...]

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High Fives

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008

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25 I can apparently take 25 5yr olds in a rumble. I’d have thought more, but honestly I don’t roll the large brawls with anything less than zombies these days, so maybe the number’s higher the second time around – when I’m splitting heads with a broken piece of drainage pipe and trying not to [...]

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Dark Knowledge

Sunday, August 31st, 2008

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Darth Vader explains the Pythagorean theorem. Just the type of thing you would expect from the Dark Lord of the Sith.

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Massive Deadache

Saturday, August 30th, 2008

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Metal From Finland posted this pic on Thursday. I have, literally, just been sitting here staring at it until right now, just this second. Awa, I feel, is much improved. Check out Amen‘s mouth! OMFG. The new costumes are, apparently, for Lordi‘s new album Deadache. I am Lordi’s bitch.

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Just Swimmingly

Saturday, August 30th, 2008

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Look, it’s not my place to gloat. Firstly, I don’t have all that much to gloat about and secondly it is wildly against my general disposition in regard to how I present myself. I will admit to being prideful; indeed I will admit to holding my ground when pressed on a subject or activity in [...]

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Terminator 2. Sweded. Shit.

Saturday, August 30th, 2008

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If you’ve never seen a sweded film before, you’re missing out. Well, you’re missing out on all of the other ones. You know, because I just showed you this one. Fuck you, Schrödinger.

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LEGO + Lamp = Awesome

Friday, August 29th, 2008

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I just don’t know if there is anything I can say to this. It is a lamp. A lamp made our of clear LEGO blocks. Have I died? Am I dead right now and this is where you go if you’ve recently been a very good person who just happened to walk into a train? [...]

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Particularly Awesome

Friday, August 29th, 2008

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As though plushy microbes and Albert Einstein action figures weren’t enough, The Particle Zoo has gone and made something else to totally entangle my attentions. At around a tenner for each particle, it may be a while before you get them all – but you know you will need to get them all. You know [...]

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Embargo Lifted!

Thursday, August 28th, 2008

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Much in the same way a McDonald’s Quarter Pounder with Cheese is made with what is technically an all beef patty but is in actuality some sort of strange beef-ish distortion of man’s idea of what it is to hate, so too is this website technically a blog. One may argue the value of the [...]

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