Don Thacker Answers Your Questions

The below are questions posed to me in email. I apologize for not getting to them for (in some cases) months. It’s been a bit hectic as of late.

Q: Where have you been? Why haven’t you updated your website in [x] [days/months/years]?
A: I’ve been right here. In the geographical sense I haven’t left the state for any considerable length of time and in the ethereal sense, I’ve never left right here. I haven’t said anything, however, because of a bit of an epiphany had about the same time as my last entry here on this very website. In what is, perhaps, a master stroke of blatant and almost terrifying irony I will proceed to tell you that this epiphany was, in fact, that no one really gives a shit about what I have to say here and I charge that there is very little in the way of personal content on the internet that anyone really cares about who isn’t already somehow invested in its base. Sure, you like your LiveJournal – but you know most of the people you read, otherwise their senseless blather is meaningless. Meaningless like my own. I will continue now as though you care.

Q: Weren’t you dating [so and so]?
A: I haven’t been dating so and so for quite a while. Years.

Q: What is your favorite color?
A: Orange. Look to O’Reilly’s Oracle SQL*Plus pocket reference for just the right shade.

Q: What do you do for a living?
A: I am an internet application developer. The senior on staff at the company for which I work. For those not hip to the grind (read: those of you with lives), this is distinctly different than your brother/cousin/nephew’s best friend who once made a web page. That is, unless your brother/cousin/nephew’s best friend pushes hundreds of thousands of records through a managed business layer to take a small break from real programming. In that case, please don’t ask your brother/cousin/nephew’s best friend to fix your computer. When you do that it hurts us all inside – feels like we’re Yoda and you just knifed a room full of Jedi kids with your laser stick.

Q: Whatever happened to that movie you were trying to make?
A: That would depend heavily on which particular film you were referring to. Let’s say you meant the one that is in pre-production right now. Well, it is in pre-production. We’ve got what looks like a final working draft of the screenplay, the creature effects guy is working on the creature effects, the production designer has designed the sets and we are trying to draft a set to be built.

Q: Why don’t you return my emails?
A: Sorry, I – or skinnyfilter – assumed it was spam. My email gets checked, like, monthly now. Move your mouse to the left and fill out that there form if it is important – that bitch slips past the guards.

Q: When will you update your website?
A: Well well well, what have we here?